i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
