Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
