He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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