wanna go halves on a baby?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
