And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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