i just google imaged poop.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
