He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize