sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
