oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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