something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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