We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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