Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
