I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
