Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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