i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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