My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
