she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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