I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
