It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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