I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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