So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
