He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My vagina is very pro this idea
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