so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
