Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
