rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
