she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
