tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
