Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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