my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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