Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
