You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
