Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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