Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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