I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
