Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
