you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
