so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
