I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
