Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
