Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
