Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
