i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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