Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
