okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
