Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Come on in and take your pants off
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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