Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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