Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
