I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
