I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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