SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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