Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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