dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i dont even know how to be here
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
