Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
