Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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