i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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