time to smoke my breakfast
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
