well I can't set my house on fire every night
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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